Santa's Secret
by Mellowmom
Summary: This is a three parter for @breakfast-at-bateses as part of the @batesessecretservice Secret Santa program on tumblr. Any resemblance to a previously posted fanfic is totally a coincidence. We just have mutual good taste when it comes to picking story lines! ;-) Jackie Bates is upset over something he was told in school. How will John and Anna handle it?
1. Chapter 1

Santa's Secret – Chapter 1

Anna was looking forward to this holiday weekend starting. Today was the last day of school before the Christmas holiday break, and starting tomorrow, his lordship had given her husband John, three whole days off to celebrate Christmas with the family. She had baked chocolate biscuits earlier in the day and imagined the joy in Jack's eyes as he enjoyed his snack and sipped some hot cocoa with her when he got home from school that afternoon

Anna was quickly brought out of her reverie startling to the sound of their cottage door banging open and then slamming shut. The sound of feet stomping up the staircase, another door closing with a loud bang was followed by the muffled sounds of bumps and thuds emanating from young Jack's bedroom.

"Jack, is that you?" Anna walked to the base of the stairs and waited for her 9 year old son to answer. But nothing… total silence.

"Jackie, come down these stairs this instant and explain why you've created such a racket?"

Again, total silence.

Anna had never witnessed such willful disrespect from Jack before. Something must be terribly amiss for him to ignore her request. With a combination of trepidation and just a touch of parental indignation, Anna walked up the stairs and knocked on her son's door.

"Jack, open this door, now!" Anna rarely raised her voice to her child, but his behavior was completely out of line.

Her request for him to open the door was again met with silence, so Anna opened it herself and stepped into Jack's bedroom. Nothing prepared her for the scene before her.

The inside of his bedroom looked like a mighty wind had entered and knocked things about. His prized toy soldiers were strewn across the floor. Books that he loved to listen to his father read to him at bedtime had been knocked off the bookcase and Jack was lying face down on his bed, his right hand curled tightly in a fist.

"John Robert Bates, you need to sit up this instant and explain yourself!" Jack shook his head "no" and then pulled himself up into a ball, facing towards his bedroom wall and away from Anna.

Seeing his response, Anna knew that her child was in some emotional distress, and not just willfully misbehaving. She stroked his back slowly and decided to take a different tack with her young son. "Jack, love, please tell mummy what's wrong. Santa Claus will be coming soon and I'm sure you don't want him to put you on the naughty list. So why don't you…"

At the mention of Santa's name Jack sat up and faced Anna. She could see the tears welling in his eyes as his nose began to run.

"Th-th-that's just it Mummy!" Jack wailed.

"What's it, love?" answered Anna.

"There is NO Santa Claus." Jackie sobbed.

"What do you mean there is no such thing as Santa? Who would tell you such a thing?"

"Julian Fellowes, he told me at recess today."

Anna made a mental note to speak to Mrs. Fellowes about her son ruining Christmas for Jack next time she saw her. But for now, her attention was focused on Jackie and what he was going through.

"Why on earth would he say that to you?"

"I-I- saw him p-push Sally Molesley down in the playground," Jack answered between sobs, "and… and… I told him that Santa was going to put him on the naughty list for that and he l-laughed at me, called m-me a b-baby, a-and tried to push me over a-and th-that's when h-he told me that S-s-santa isn't real."

Jack turned towards his mother and pleaded. "Say it isn't true, mummy. Santa's real isn't he?" Anna's heart broke just a little as she witnessed the hope on Jackie's face.

What to say…how to answer… Anna's mind spun about madly as she tried to find the right words to answer his question.

"Mummy?"

Anna realized she had to come up with something quickly. "Well, um… you see love, uh… Santa is…I mean he.." Anna fumbled to come up with an explanation. But, the right words to make things all better in her son's mind just would not come.

Jack, however, saw through his mom hesitation right away and knew what the unspoken answer was. Julian was right. There was no such thing as Santa Claus.

"Never mind mummy," Jack spoke through tears. "I'm a big boy and I know the truth about Santa now." He buried his face in his mom's chest and rubbed it back and forth to dry the tears.

"Oh, Jackie I'm so sorry you had to hear this way about Santa. I wish I could come up with a good answer about Santa and make you feel better." Anna wiped a tear from her eye.

"It's all right mum. It's just…now," he sighed wistfully. "It's just when Julian told me, at first I didn't believe him because he's mean and I've seen him do more mean things to my friends, so I thought it was just him being hurtful to me." Jack paused, and looked up at his mother with the same hazel eyes that Anna loved to see on his father's face. "It's just, I know you would never lie to me mum and...and now I wish I'd never asked you."

Anna put her arms around Jack and rocked him gently as he sat on his bed. As her eyes filled with tears she thought hard about what she could do to mend his broken heart.


	2. Chapter 2

Santa's Secret – Chapter 2

John Bates uncharacteristically whistled a cheery Christmas tune as he made his way down the snowy path to his home, the little cottage that held all that was near, dear and important in his life.

He could picture the fire in the hearth, the smell of something delicious coming from the kitchen and being greeted by his beautiful wife and their bonny son Jack, as soon as he stepped in through their front door.

However, two out of those four mental images were all that he received as he walked through that door this evening. The fire was burning and there was the distinctive aroma of baked biscuits coming from the kitchen, but Anna and Jack were nowhere to be found downstairs.

Just as he was about to call out. He heard a bedroom door upstairs close and saw Anna walk slowly down the stairs. She looked like the weight of the world was on her shoulders and John's mind instantly shifted to concern for his wife. And Jack, where was Jack?

"Darling, are you all right? What's wrong? Is Jackie okay?"

"Oh, John!" Anna threw herself into her husband's arms. I'm all right, but Jack… he's"

'Jack is hurt? How badly? How did it happen? Has Doctor Carlson been called?"

"John, please, calm down. Let me finish please." Anna grabbed John's coat by the lapels and forced him to look at her as she explained what had happened.

"Well, you know that Fellowes boy…" Anna started to explain.

"Julian? That ruffian? He's twice the size of Jackie and several years older. Did he hit Jack or harm him in some way?"

Anna saw John's eyes flash and his cheeks redden at the thought that his child had been bullied by Fellowes"

"Calm yourself, and please listen to my entire explanation before you say anything, please John? "

John nodded his head in agreement and Anna proceeded.

"Yes, he did hurt Jack, but not in a physical way. And truthfully, I'm not sure he knew how badly what he said would hurt our son. He just told him something that Jack wasn't ready to hear just yet. He lost a bit of his childish wonder today."

"Childish wonder? I don't understand what you mean, Anna. You're scaring me a bit, love."

Anna sighed and looked directly into Johns eyes. "Julian told Jack there is no such thing as Santa Claus."

"He what?" John roared. "Why, I've a mind to march down to Fellowes home now and throttle that boy. How dare he tell our son that!"

"Nevertheless, it's not about how you feel, Mr. Bates, the point is that he's told Jackie and now he knows. He's so trying to keep up a brave front, but I know inside there's a part of his little boy's heart that has been broken. We need to help him through the disappointment and pain he's going through."

"You're right, Anna. Of course, our first concern, as parents is to help Jack deal with the knowledge that one of his childhood heroes is someone who just isn't real."

"Yes, exactly, love. But how can we fix this? I don't want to lie to our son and tell him that Santa is real and that Julian was lying to him. Though part of me must admit it's the easy way out for now, but then when or how could we ever tell him the truth when he is the right age to hear and accept it?"

"Let me think about it Anna. Do you think that Jack will be coming down for dinner this evening?"

"I doubt it. Despite trying to play the big boy, I know he's still upset about what happened. He's been up there for hours. I've been checking in on him every 15 minutes or so, but he says he wants to be left alone for now. I plan on bringing him up a tray after we finish dinner. Which reminds me, I'd best start on supper now. In the meantime, you'll have time to think of what you want to say to Jack. I know he'll accept anything you tell him, John. You're also his hero."

"Then, let's just hope he doesn't lose two of his heroes tonight, love. I'll start thinking what to say to him and hopefully by dinnertime I will have figured out the right words."

Supper time arrived and John still hadn't come up with a good enough explanation concerning Santa Claus.

Anna could tell by John's demeanor as he came to the dinner table that he still hadn't figure out what to say to their child. His brow stayed furrowed as he worked to formulate what to tell his young son that would ease the pain of knowing. He thought and thought and then halfway through dessert his face lit up with a smile.

"Anna, I've got it. I know what to say to Jack!"

"I'm so glad to hear that, John. I was just on my way to take the tray up," Anna responded. "Would you like to take it up to him instead?"

"I agree Mrs. Bates, the timing couldn't be better."

"Good luck, John," Anna whispered as she placed the food tray in her husband's arms.

"I'm afraid it will take more than luck to get through this, love. Just say a prayer that Jackie is going to accept my explanation and feel better by the end of it."

"I trust you completely, Mr. Bates". She moved closer to her husband and gave him a soft kiss on his cheek. "You can save Santa for Jack. On this I'm positive."

With Anna's blessing, John carefully made his way up the stairs to Jackie's room.

John stood just outside the door, deftly balancing the tray on one arm as he knocked softly on Jack's bedroom door with his cane. "Jack, it's Da. All right for me to come in? I've a delicious tray of food, cooked especially for you by mummy."

At first John heard nothing, then picked up on the soft voice of his little boy coming through the bedroom door.

"I'm not hungry, but you can come in, Da."

John carefully opened the door, prepared to maneuver himself through a landscape of scattered toys and books on the floor. Anna mentioned Jackie's meltdown over supper, but to John's amazement the floor had been cleared, and everything appeared to be in its place. He walked over to Jack's desk, cleared some items to the side and gingerly placed the tray on it.

"Just in case you get hungry, little man." He then walked over to Jack's bed and sat next to him. He felt his son lean into him as he placed his arms around Jack's shoulder.

Mummy told me you had a bad day at school, son." Jack silently nodded and buried his head further into his dad's side.

"She said that Julian Fellowes told you there's no such thing as Santa Claus, didn't he?" Again, Jack nodded accompanied with a little sniffle.

"Your mummy and I truly wish you hadn't heard about Santa like that, Jackie." Jack wiped his nose with his sleeve, and snuggled closer to his dad.

"It's okay da. I'm a big boy now and big boys are always able to handle hearing the truth about things."

"But, that's exactly my point, son. What Julian told you is just part of the truth. It's Julian's truth, but there's more. Would you like me to tell you the whole truth?"

Jack pushed back from his dad and looked up at him with eyes as big as saucers and his mouth slightly open. Then he dropped his head down and stared at his hands, neatly folded in front of him.

The silence was deafening to John. He could almost see the wheels spinning in his son's head as he pondered if he truly wanted to hear the rest of the story. He worried that Jack might not feel he could handle much more "truth" today.

"Da, I do want to hear more, but I'm really tired, and I just want to go to sleep now. Can you tell me tomorrow?"

John's shoulders sagged in disappointment, but he shook his head yes and kissed Jack softly upon his brow..

"Okay, I'll tell mummy that you want to go to bed now. She'll come up and say goodnight." He ruffled Jack's hair and walked towards the door. "Remember this Jackie, if you feel you want to talk about this more you can come get me anytime of the day or night."

"Thanks, Da. And good night."

"Good night, my little man." 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Anna was surprised to see John come down the stairs so soon after taking the tray up to Jack.

"My, that was quick, John! Is he okay after hearing your explanation?"

"I wasn't able to give him it yet. He said he was tired and just wanted to go to bed. I told him you'd be up shortly to wish him good night."

Anna looked anxiously at her husband upon hearing about Jack's refusal to discuss the Santa issue any further. "So, that's it then? He'll just have to deal with what that Fellowes boy told him. He wouldn't hear what you had to say?

"Oh no Anna. He said he does want to listen to me, just not tonight. He's had a big shock today and some sleep should help him release some of the stress he's feeling right now. It might also put him in a better frame of mind to hear what I have to say and accept it as the truth. And, besides now I can tell you what I plan to say to him. We both have to be on the same page on this if we're to salvage Christmas and Santa Claus for Jack."

 _Several hours later…_

John and Anna were both peacefully sound asleep when their bedroom door slowly opened, and young Jackie tiptoed over to his dad's side of the bed.

He started to giggle as he heard his father snoring, wondering how his mummy was able to sleep through such a racket.

"Da!" Jack shook his father's arm… "Da, wake up".

John let out a low groan, nestled back down into his pillow and began to snore again

"Wake up da, wake up!" Jackie shook his dad's arm more vigorously this time. John's eyes popped open followed by him quickly bringing his fingers to his lips. "Ssshhhh, Jack. We don't want to wake up mummy."

Jackie nodded and pulled on his dad's arm… "I woke up a while ago and I can't sleep, Da And you said anytime I want to talk about Santa just to tell you… So, I am telling you, I want to hear the truth about Santa.

John carefully got out of bed, looking back to make sure that Anna had not been disturbed. She looked beautiful, as always, and thankfully sound asleep.

John bent down to Jackie and whispered… "Come on then mate… Let's leave mummy to sleep. Tell me where you want to talk about Santa… your room or downstairs in the parlor?"

Jack pondered the question posed by his father for a few seconds and then told him that he would like to go downstairs in the parlor. Jack liked the idea of having a talk with his dad like a grown-up. Plus, he was afraid if he was in his bedroom he might fall asleep.

Hand in hand, father and son made their way quietly down the staircase. They settled onto the settee with John stretching his long legs forward while Jackie pulled his legs underneath him on the sofa cushion.

"First son, I'm sorry I wasn't the first one to tell you the truth about Santa Claus." John saw Jack bite down on his lip and look downwards. When he lifted it back up, John could see the beginning of tears in young Jack's eyes.

"Then it's true? What Julian said… It's true?"

"Jackie, Julian told you what he believed to be the truth and there are many people who believe the same as he does. But mummy and I don't believe what he told you, because we know better. We know the real secret about Santa. And tonight, I'm going to share that secret with you."

"You are?"

Bates chuckled as Jack straightened up in the couch, his mouth half-open with eyes opened wide.

"Yes. And you want to know why?"

Jackie nodded his head as he leaned toward his dad on the opposite end of the settee.

"Because of how much you have grown this year," was John's simple answer.

Jack grinned as he agreed with his dad. That's true. I've grown up a lot. Mummy says my feet are getting so big I'll be wearing your shoes next year… and my pants legs don't reach my shoe tops anymore. She says I'm all legs just like you da! Then he paused as he seemed to ponder some missing part of the explanation. "But, Julian is way bigger than me. Shouldn't he know Santa's secret too?"

"Well, I'm not just talking about growing up on the outside, Jackie. I'm talking about how much you've grown on the inside…here." John reached forward and tapped his son's chest… right above his heart. "Not only are you taller son, but mummy and me can see how much your heart has grown too."

Jack pulled open the top of his nightshirt and looked at the spot his dad had just touched. Looking for some outward sign that his heart, indeed had grown.

"But how can you and mummy tell, Da?

We know by all the nice and thoughtful things you've done this year. Remember when mummy was really sick with a cold?"

"Yes, and I brought her water and played real quietly so she could sleep more and get better?"

"Exactly. And remember that nifty chain for my pocket watch that you got me for my birthday? How you paid for it yourself with money you'd save by doing extra chores around home?"

Jackie shook his head yes.

"And just recently, how you stood up to Julian for pushing down Sally in the schoolyard?"

At the mention of Julian's name John saw Jackie's face darken momentarily. "That's when he told me about Santa. He couldn't push me down so he laughed at me and said there was no such thing as Santa."

The signs quickly became apparent as John saw that his son was about to start brooding over what happened. He knew he had to move forward before Jackie succumbed to what Julian had told him in the schoolyard.

"In fact, Jack… Your heart has grown so much that I think it is time…"

"It is? Time for what?" Jackie eagerly asked his dad.

"Mummy and I think that it is time for you to become a Santa Claus!"

"M-m-me? Santa Claus?"

"Yes son. You've probably noticed around Christmas time that most of the people you see around the village, looking like Santa are just people dressed up, pretending to be Santa?"

"Mr. Carson always pretends to be Santa when you go to Downton." Jack eagerly chimed in. "He couldn't fool me. I knew it was him! And in Ripon I've seen them dressed up ringing bells in front of the stores!"

"Right, And that is why a lot of people, including Julian think that there is no such thing as Santa. It's because they aren't ready to be a Santa yet… But You ARE! Can you tell me what you think the best thing about being Santa Claus is, son?"

"Hmmm well there is cookies and hot chocolate that you get from the homes you visit. I always thought that was why Santa had such a big belly, from all the sweets he got at Christmas."

John chuckled and nodded. 'Yes…yes… that is a very good reason, Jack. But can you tell me what the best reason to be Santa Clause is?" John reached over and touched his son's chest again.

Jack bit on his lower lip as he looked at that magical spot his dad had just touched. His face lit up and he said, "I know, Da! I know! It's the good way your heart feels when you make someone happy by doing something for them!"

"Well done, son! I think it is now time for YOU to do your first job as Santa."

"It is… really?" Jack could barely contain his excitement. His first job as Santa…But where to start. "Uh, can you help me think of something to do for my first time? I want to be the best Santa I can be!"

"I'll be happy to help, Jack." John paused for a moment and then made a suggestion. "Here's a thought. Let me know what you think about this idea as your first act as Santa. Why don't you pick one friend or neighbor and find out something that they really need. Then we can go into town and get whatever it is for that person… You'll wrap it all up and seeing as tonight is Christmas Eve we'll go out late, place it on their doorstep and most importantly, never reveal to them who it came from…And you know why we will do it this way, Jack?"

"That's easy Da. Because when you're a Santa, Christmas isn't about getting credit for nice things you do. It's about giving to others and making them feel good."

"You're absolutely right, Jack! And now, what say we go to bed and tomorrow morning you can tell me who you want to give your first gift to as Santa."

"Okay da. Good night. Thank you and thank mummy for sharing Santa's secret with me."

 _Christmas Day…_

At the Bates's the stockings, which had been hung by the chimney with such care, had been emptied and their contents strewn upon the parlor floor. Young Jack was as excited as he could be as he played with the new puppy that John and Anna had given him. When pressed with a name, Jackie immediately responded.

"Rudolph!" He exclaimed. "Every Santa needs a Rudolph!" John and Anna laughed at the new puppy's name as a warm fire blazed in the hearth and the heat from the oven further warmed their cottage full of love and the Christmas spirit.

Far across town in a less merry part of the city, a colorfully decorated package sat on the doorstep of a rundown flat. Mid-morning a person emerged from the house and picked up the package, their hands covered by threadbare gloves with holes through which their fingers peeked out of. Looking from side to side thinking this must be some mistake, the package was quickly ripped open and found to contain a pair of warm leather gloves with fur lining. In a blink of an eye the old gloves were thrown aside replaced by the newly gifted ones.

The wrapping had been discarded onto the ground but just as they were set to go back inside the glint of a white tag caught the recipient's eye. Bending down to see if it held some clue as to the benefactor, they were shocked to read the inscription.

The tag contained only two lines:

To: Julian

From: Santa


End file.
